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What Stays

by Doll Spirit Vessel

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    This is a first pressing of 100 cassette tapes.

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    edition of 100 

      $8 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    This is a first pressing of one hundred compact discs.

    Includes unlimited streaming of What Stays via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    edition of 100  15 remaining

      $8 USD or more 

     

1.
A Need 05:01
O, how cumbersome, being in your own company Very tired blend of opinions and indifference If I am a need then make me a priority 100 cold cups of tea we’ll sit here til it leaves you and comes into me Leaves you and comes into me This home is true Truth like a seed and time can be a tree Or the vine that it is strangled by If I am a need then make me a priority 100 cold cups of tea we’ll sit here til it leaves you and comes into me leaves you and comes into me
2.
Coming for you, coming at you Coming in hot, coming too much Giving up, the news is all bad Squeeze my legs and I am breathing Fast again, a budding fig Second coming, this is it Crowning act, a counterfeit Nothing exists ‘til the early Morning hope is wet concrete and I am spinning fruitlessly By sundown my hearts a rock a stone that’s skipping, skipping Yet to each new day I take buckets full of expectation Hear myself say “Today i will do all the right things in all the right order” Mess of hair and limbs in a memory half-found What did we say? Or were we quiet? Kissing to the muffled sounds of a dryer throwing clothes around It was summer And I was wanting to be like a radiator in July: Calm, waiting for it’s time, sitting cool and idle Where did that go? Now all I know is today I will do All the right things in all the right order
3.
Sun Death 03:01
Oh, about a month it’s been So when you walk in the door, I just want to be touching Now you have things to say, of course For all the times I’ve begged for more than a sigh, this was silence we could afford See the room for what it is Despite near constant rearranging, decorating, it’s still feeling sterile and dim And the bed we’re laying in Dragged it round the room 1000 times, thinking I can make it better Next to this taped up trash bag, we’re waking up wetter Say it aloud the first time Something’s changed despite my trying to keep it the same Soon a star collapse, so forget your name None of this has happened yet At home alone, spin planet! Adjust the input and make myself imagine it Tiny icon anaesthetic press it and forget it Say it aloud the first time Future-past solidifies Everyone will sing “The sun has died” The sun has died
4.
Routine 03:22
Everyday at 10 o’ clock, you turn the bedside light off I close the blinds, finish a thought We moan until we get off And in the morning, in the morning we don’t sleep in Get up go to our desk jobs Each day the same and I’ve lost my mind Computer break me, maybe the thing amiss is a thing to fix I work, I watch the day pass I call you up on the way back The routine, I say I’ll cook if you clean The routine, I cook You drape a dish rag across your back Your body as a drying rack Your body as a drying rack, something to be used I’ll plant a kiss behind each knee Your body as something to be loved Your body as something to be loved by me
5.
Counting 02:01
Like a two Like a two, maybe a three at first But after a minute I swear I couldn’t feel anything Unaware it was a show, you stared I performed the afterglow Coping is counting in tens Leaving out details ‘til everything fits Holy respite, I’ve found in the pigpen again Perspective came crashing in She said many wise things Then before she left she said As for the pain, you’ll starve it, and feed it, and feel it the same
6.
Small Mass 03:27
The cat, the door Every creature always wanting more Me? a sharper reality, something less idle Nightmare, great fear: Watching never stirring pots The cat, the door Do I not feed you, what’s all this fuss for? Fine, leave, see if I care Pressing my thumb to the red hot coils on the stove The cat, the car, the impact, the dark A note on the front step A cardboard box lined with velvet Slowly lowering, what I’m asking: Can my child learn from your small mass? The scorpion grass, a back-turned-graveyard
7.
As I said, I have so few memories of it Don't show me the picture, I don't want to see it at all Running fast makes the feeling pass more quickly to the next It could be something small, something small Wouldn't have to solve it all, wouldn't have to find the circle I won't reach into the past Instead I'll let what may fall into my lap Fall afternoon, that’s my best friend's laugh in the next room It could be something small, something small Wouldn't have to solve it all, wouldn't have to find the circle
8.
Write another half song Grief under a summer sun Dead flies in the candle crater Promised that I’d call you later But I’m not me, this is a shell of someone Yes, of course I miss you so much It’s part of this whole genius setup Was that not me driving wild and alone And away from home Write it off like “I know mine” ‘Cause it feels so good to be defined All aboard the train brain rot, singing “This I am and this I’m not” Pushing nails through sheet metal Clutching fists of stinging nettle Press the speaker to my ear I’ve never heard you so sincere From here, even if I crane my neck All my strongest convictions just look like a speck Write it off like “I know mine” ‘Cause it feels so good to be defined All aboard the train brain rot, singing “This I am and this I’m not” All my strongest convictions just look like a speck
9.
Mirrors 03:28
Another day, still this strange desire Country burns on as summer tires Oh, I know I can’t go back when that’s what got me lonely Silence as you take too long to chew Nobody’s ever gonna love that underbite like I do Hey, I wanna talk to you, So don’t go and get resentful, gentle I was looking in mirrors On your granite mind transfixed Make as if to stay, then never sit Okay this, no this, is the last breath I’ll hold And hope to see it split wide open I was looking in mirrors I ought to notice more about the world around Doo-yun, can we take a walk? Skate up and down the block I count three red doors, none of them yours And that’s what gets me
10.
What Stays 02:33
Summer baby, your face looked tan through the phone screen Pixelated, what I couldn’t see were the backs of your hands peeling Your noon sun slips behind my mountain I’m thinking shapeless thoughts I’m thinking shapeless thoughts about intimacy About endless need About moments Moments of peace Sunburnt baby, besides the hands, what else am I missing? An idea made me fervent for a time I saw a world behind it Now I’m too lazy to find it Your noon sun slips behind my mountain A day swells and is gone, thrown out to the dogs To join a growing wake I can’t see clearly So please show me Show me what stays
11.
A Light 03:26
There is a light Briefly, there is a light See it ride the crest of a wave in a pond Ripple i made The was a light Briefly, there was a light Now, the light's power, is it the breaking of the glass Or is it that light never lasts There was a light, briefly There was a light

credits

released August 12, 2022

All lyrics and songs written by Kati Malison
“Small Mass” co-written by Max Holbrook
“All the Right Things…” and “A Light” co-written by Lewis Brown

Co-produced by Kati Malison, Max Holbrook, and Lewis Brown
Engineered by Kati Malison
Mixed by Peter Geiser
Mastered by Brandon Peralta

Performed and arranged by Kati Malison, Max Holbrook, and Lewis Brown
“What Stays” lead guitar written by Sam Dembling
“Counting” bass written by Jacob Katsiaficas
Drums on “What Stays” and “Small Mass” by Pepe Hidalgo
E-drums on “Small Mass” by Peter Geiser
Backing vocals on “What Stays” and “Mirrors” by Sophie Goldberg
Horn on “A Light” by Heidi Aispuro

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Doll Spirit Vessel Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

DSV is Kati, Lewis, Max

contact: dollspiritvessel@gmail.com
press: msteele@missingpiecegroup.com

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