1. |
A Need
05:01
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O, how cumbersome, being in your own company
Very tired blend of opinions and indifference
If I am a need then make me a priority
100 cold cups of tea we’ll sit here til it leaves you and comes into me
Leaves you and comes into me
This home is true
Truth like a seed and time can be a tree
Or the vine that it is strangled by
If I am a need then make me a priority
100 cold cups of tea we’ll sit here til it leaves you and comes into me
leaves you and comes into me
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2. |
||||
Coming for you, coming at you
Coming in hot, coming too much
Giving up, the news is all bad
Squeeze my legs and I am breathing
Fast again, a budding fig
Second coming, this is it
Crowning act, a counterfeit
Nothing exists ‘til the early
Morning hope is wet concrete and
I am spinning fruitlessly
By sundown my hearts a rock
a stone that’s skipping, skipping
Yet to each new day I take buckets full of expectation
Hear myself say “Today i will do all the right things in all the right order”
Mess of hair and limbs in a memory half-found
What did we say? Or were we quiet?
Kissing to the muffled sounds of a dryer throwing clothes around
It was summer
And I was wanting to be like a radiator in July:
Calm, waiting for it’s time, sitting cool and idle
Where did that go?
Now all I know is today I will do
All the right things in all the right order
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3. |
Sun Death
03:01
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Oh, about a month it’s been
So when you walk in the door, I just want to be touching
Now you have things to say, of course
For all the times I’ve begged for more than a sigh, this was silence we could afford
See the room for what it is
Despite near constant rearranging, decorating, it’s still feeling sterile and dim
And the bed we’re laying in
Dragged it round the room 1000 times, thinking I can make it better
Next to this taped up trash bag, we’re waking up wetter
Say it aloud the first time
Something’s changed despite my trying to keep it the same
Soon a star collapse, so forget your name
None of this has happened yet
At home alone, spin planet!
Adjust the input and make myself imagine it
Tiny icon anaesthetic press it and forget it
Say it aloud the first time
Future-past solidifies
Everyone will sing “The sun has died”
The sun has died
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4. |
Routine
03:22
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Everyday at 10 o’ clock, you turn the bedside light off
I close the blinds, finish a thought
We moan until we get off
And in the morning, in the morning we don’t sleep in
Get up go to our desk jobs
Each day the same and I’ve lost my mind
Computer break me, maybe the thing amiss is a thing to fix
I work, I watch the day pass
I call you up on the way back
The routine, I say I’ll cook if you clean
The routine, I cook
You drape a dish rag across your back
Your body as a drying rack
Your body as a drying rack, something to be used
I’ll plant a kiss behind each knee
Your body as something to be loved
Your body as something to be loved by me
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5. |
Counting
02:01
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Like a two
Like a two, maybe a three at first
But after a minute I swear I couldn’t feel anything
Unaware it was a show, you stared
I performed the afterglow
Coping is counting in tens
Leaving out details ‘til everything fits
Holy respite, I’ve found in the pigpen again
Perspective came crashing in
She said many wise things
Then before she left she said
As for the pain, you’ll starve it, and feed it, and feel it the same
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6. |
Small Mass
03:27
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The cat, the door
Every creature always wanting more
Me? a sharper reality, something less idle
Nightmare, great fear:
Watching never stirring pots
The cat, the door
Do I not feed you, what’s all this fuss for?
Fine, leave, see if I care
Pressing my thumb to the red hot coils on the stove
The cat, the car, the impact, the dark
A note on the front step
A cardboard box lined with velvet
Slowly lowering, what I’m asking:
Can my child learn from your small mass?
The scorpion grass, a back-turned-graveyard
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7. |
Something Small
03:10
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As I said, I have so few memories of it
Don't show me the picture, I don't want to see it at all
Running fast makes the feeling pass more quickly to the next
It could be something small, something small
Wouldn't have to solve it all, wouldn't have to find the circle
I won't reach into the past
Instead I'll let what may fall into my lap
Fall afternoon, that’s my best friend's laugh in the next room
It could be something small, something small
Wouldn't have to solve it all, wouldn't have to find the circle
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8. |
Train Brain Rot
02:51
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Write another half song
Grief under a summer sun
Dead flies in the candle crater
Promised that I’d call you later
But I’m not me, this is a shell of someone
Yes, of course I miss you so much
It’s part of this whole genius setup
Was that not me driving wild and alone
And away from home
Write it off like “I know mine”
‘Cause it feels so good to be defined
All aboard the train brain rot, singing
“This I am and this I’m not”
Pushing nails through sheet metal
Clutching fists of stinging nettle
Press the speaker to my ear
I’ve never heard you so sincere
From here, even if I crane my neck
All my strongest convictions just look like a speck
Write it off like “I know mine”
‘Cause it feels so good to be defined
All aboard the train brain rot, singing
“This I am and this I’m not”
All my strongest convictions just look like a speck
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9. |
Mirrors
03:28
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Another day, still this strange desire
Country burns on as summer tires
Oh, I know I can’t go back when that’s what got me lonely
Silence as you take too long to chew
Nobody’s ever gonna love that underbite like I do
Hey, I wanna talk to you,
So don’t go and get resentful, gentle
I was looking in mirrors
On your granite mind transfixed
Make as if to stay, then never sit
Okay this, no this, is the last breath I’ll hold
And hope to see it split wide open
I was looking in mirrors
I ought to notice more about the world around
Doo-yun, can we take a walk?
Skate up and down the block
I count three red doors, none of them yours
And that’s what gets me
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10. |
What Stays
02:33
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Summer baby, your face looked tan through the phone screen
Pixelated, what I couldn’t see were the backs of your hands peeling
Your noon sun slips behind my mountain
I’m thinking shapeless thoughts
I’m thinking shapeless thoughts about intimacy
About endless need
About moments
Moments of peace
Sunburnt baby, besides the hands, what else am I missing?
An idea made me fervent for a time
I saw a world behind it
Now I’m too lazy to find it
Your noon sun slips behind my mountain
A day swells and is gone, thrown out to the dogs
To join a growing wake I can’t see clearly
So please show me
Show me what stays
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11. |
A Light
03:26
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There is a light
Briefly, there is a light
See it ride the crest of a wave in a pond
Ripple i made
The was a light
Briefly, there was a light
Now, the light's power, is it the breaking of the glass
Or is it that light never lasts
There was a light, briefly
There was a light
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Doll Spirit Vessel Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
DSV is Kati, Lewis, Max
contact: dollspiritvessel@gmail.com
press: msteele@missingpiecegroup.com
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